Welcome, gamers. I stand before you for the first time since The 2021 Esquire Gaming Awards, Sponsored By Arby’s*, to present The 2022 Esquire Gaming Awards, Sponsored By Wendy’s.**
This year, I’d like to keep my Esquire Gamer Zone keynote speech brief. You know us by now. We’ve spent the year bunkered down in places we’d rather not tell you about, playing the latest and greatest in video games. We play said titles with the brand-spankin’-newest in gadgets, gears, and accessories, with the goal of sharing the best with you, right here, right now. In 2022, we played as cats, turtles, golfers, Gremlins—yes, those Gremlins—skaters, demons, and trombonists. As always, our adventures changed us forever. Here, you’ll read every gritty and embarrassing detail from our escapades, as we tell you what left the most indelible impression on our immortal gamer souls.
Now pull yourself together. Wipe your tears. We present to you, The 2022 Esquire Gaming Awards, Sponsored By Wendy’s.**
* You’re dead to the Esquire Gamer Zone, Arby’s, even though we were never formally sponsored by you. You heard our calls. You heard… our cries. I once suffered a fit of explosive diarrhea at 2 a.m. on the morning of Valentine’s Day just because I wanted to show my love to you by downing 12 Jamocha shakes at once. Does that mean anything to you? Answer us, Arby’s!
** Wendy’s! Hi! Listen, we aren’t sponsored by you—yet. But I’m willing to shill for your fries and also shit my boxers under the cover of night in your honor. Call us now, and we’ll dye our hair brick-red, grow it to double-ponytail-length, and formally change each of our names to Wendy.
GAME WINNERS
Game of the Year
Elden Ring
I mean, of course it is. If you’re surprised, or angry, then kindly shove it. Elden Ring is my game of the decade. It’s truly a masterpiece. Few other games have had me dive in so deep, and left me so damn excited to replay it so many times in one year. I have not shut up about Elden Ring—and I won’t until every gamer has become Elden Lord. Now, the only thing on my holiday list is that we get a DLC announcement at the Game Awards. Here’s to you Erdtree. I’ll be back soon. —Cameron Sherrill
Best Story
God of War: Ragnarok
While I may have thought no game could compare to Elden Ring this year, God of War: Ragnarök arrived. I mean, the game is also a damn masterpiece—and one of the most well-told stories I’ve ever experienced. Beyond all of that, the game has some of the best combat out there. It’s rare that a title is this fun and sports such a masterclass in storytelling, but here we are. God of War: Ragnarök